Random Chaos

Make Airline Food Yummy - HOWTO

Book yourself on the last ticket(resulting from a cancellation) on the 1945hrs Air Deccan flight out of Bangalore a few hours before scheduled departure(and be told that the flight will be 15 minutes late and will leave at 2000hrs)

Confirm dinner plans with friends in Chennai.

Leave home 1.5 hours before scheduled departure time, and find that the narrow short cut road is clogged and backtrack 6-7kms and reach the airport 30 minutes before scheduled departure and find that the flight has been further delayed to 2200hrs.

Inform dinnermates of delay, and have a Sprite and head to security check which has a queue that stretches almost out of the terminal.

Spend the next 2 hours on IM/Phone, and then discover that the flight is further delayed by 45 minutes.

Call friends in Chennai and tell them to eat without you.

Discover that there is a nationwide airport strike the following day.

Tell friends that you might not make it to their place at all. Call your parents who call up their friends to make arrangements for a taxi to pick you pick from the Madurai airport which is pretty much in the middle of nowhere.

Finally take off from Bangalore around 2300hrs, stuff yourself with 2 brownies,a packet of chips and a tetrapak of mango juice during the flight and save another packet of chips for the uncomfortable stay in Chennai.

Land in a nearly deserted Chennai airport with printed boards announcing the strike. Discover upon enquiry that the strike doesn't start until 0700hrs.

Head down to the ticket counters and check for flights/tickets to Madurai, and discover that all three airlines that fly there are running full.

Faced with the prospect of spending 4-5 hours in the sticky Chennai weather or 2 hours travelling back and forth between the airport and your friends place, make another trip to the Jet Airways counter who have the only flight to Madurai that leaves before the strike begins.

Find out that they can issue you a "SUB TO XXLN" ticket which guarantees a 100% refund if you can't get a seat but doesn't guarantee anything else.

Discover that when money can't buy you a seat, Mastercard could get you into the airconditioned airport terminal!(albeit at 4 times the cost of the flight you got off and probably the cost of your 3 previous flights)

And since we live in the post 9-11 world where airport security is a top priority, you'll be waved into the terminal with 12kg box and a 5-6kg backpack without anyone even looking at your ticket, and you'll be allowed to be in there for next 6.5 hours before your baggage is screened

Find a seat near a power point and discover that your two-pin plug won't get you past the child-safety mechanism on the plug-point. And that while your mobile is roaming, your GPRS has still not caught up with you. And the "free wifi" service at the airport only works in bursts.

Walk down to the lone almost empty (even to the optimist) food stall in the departure terminal and get a pack of Orange juice and a can of Sprite.(Microwaved pop-corn at 2AM just doesn't feel right)

Get back to your place and watch other people equally unprepared as you to deal with the child-safety device of the plug-point.

And as you try to get the wifi to work you think of a whole new meaning to the "Turn Airport On" / "Turn Airport Off" menu options on OS X.

Finish your orange juice, and listen to some podcasts while conserving precious battery life by turning off the backlight completely.

Take a short nap and wake up to see the signs of activity in the terminal, drink the Sprite and walk to the airline counters in the check-in area, and figure out how to get on the waiting list when you have an "SUB TO XXLN" ticket.

Wait patiently for 0615hrs and appraoch the airline counter again, and the guy will print out your boarding pass at T-30 minutes and 5 minutes later will give you a boarding pass that could have belonged to someone else, and possibly someone who overslept or is stuck in Chennai traffic!

Boarding pass in hand approach the other counter to check-in your luggage, and hurry past security check, run through the empty gates into a waiting coach to take you to your flight.

En-route to the flight call home and inform them about the flight arrival time at Madurai and ask them to SMS you the taxi number. Board the flight, take your seat and wait for take off.

Drink the strawberry yogurt like welcome drink and wait for the "non-veg breafast" to be served.

• Fruit salad mostly pineapple and papaya
• Half-cooked Spanish-like Omlette
• Chicken Sausage
• Some Dry Aloo Fry
• Cold Croissant and Amul butter cube

A totally weird combo that any other time and place would have been anything but wonderful, but after the experiences of the past 12 hours, you'll find it to be one of the best meals you've ever had in your life.

Land at Madurai aiport at 0815hrs and get into the taxi within a few minutes and start off on the last leg of your journey, which takes almost 2.5 hours half of which will be spent sleeping.

Reach home in time to shower and get ready for your first mom-made lunch in many months and you know that it's really yummy but yet strangely it doesn't feel half as good as the "non-veg breakfast".